Well, here they are, my flaky interviews. Not only did I ask boring 
questions, I asked the same boring questions to everyone! My time with 
Nate I already talked about in the previous email. I had him sign my "So 
Far, So Good" cd. He spelled my name wrong, but who would know with his 
handwriting. ;) Then I met Kevin (who didn't take a cookie) and then...

BEN CARR, the man, the myth, the legend... the Bosstone. We chatted a 
little before the interview about the chocolate chip cookies I stole 
from my mother's kitchen for the boys. Ben mentioned he better stop or 
else he'd get fat, and I said there wasn't much of a chance of that 
since dancing is aerobic. The "Myrna" mentioned is my friend Myrna (duh) 
who carried the box of cookies as I chased down and bagged every 
Bosstone I could find.

S: Hey, it's Stacy, Warped Reporter, talking with Ben from the 
Bosstones, and...
B [through cookie]: Hey! These are good cookies!
S: Thank you, Ben. My mother will appreciate that. And so, you guys were 
just on Letterman. Pretty big audience. How was that?
B: Um... interesting.
S: Interesting?
B [still through cookie]: Yeah.
S: Meet Dave?
B: Briefly, on stage. It was on TV, that was all I met of him. He's a 
very busy man; he doesn't have time for us little pee-ons [at least 
that's what I think Ben said].
S: Aww, well that's OK. So how's the tour for you right now?
B: Tour's great! It's so fun, you know, so laid-back. Nothing like it 
out there.
S: Right, so you would do this tour more than any other summer tours?
B: Well yeah, we picked this one over all the other ones. We were 
offered the Skoal... Roar... tour, whateverthehellthatis.
S: Yeah, that's with the tobacco and everything.
B: Ya, and we said, "No, we don't wanna, you know..."
S: …endorse that kind of thing?
B: Exactly. Giving out free Skoal to the all the kids when they come to 
the show... But ya, we did the Lollapalooza thing and everything and we 
wanted to do some fun summer camp activities.
S [who is beginning to flake]: Right. OK. Cool. So, do you, um, 
lessee...
B [through cookie]: No.
S [laughing]: OK. Um, this is the first time I've done something like 
this before.
B: Well, you'll get better. [And then it sounds like Ben's laughing 
viciously. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT BEN?! j/k].
S: In addition to being the Warped Reporter, I'm also the Ambassador of 
Love from the fan club, so is there anything you wanted to say for the 
first newsletter?
B: Oh for the first newsletter?
S: Yeah.
B [pauses slightly, and then does a crazy little Ben dance, which I 
think is appropriate for Ben to say for the first newsletter]: Right on! 
Yeah, nothing... um yeah, it's great. Fucking Warped Tour lives.
S: Yeah, right on!
B: Van's Warped Tour, Sony Playstation, Gatorade... uhhh who else is out 
here sponsoring us? 28-Corporate-Sponsors Tour lives!
S: So, of the other bands playing Warped Tour, who do you enjoy 
watching?
B: Well this band right now that I'm not getting to watch because of 
these interviews...
S: Oh God, I'm sorry!
B: ...Pennywise.
S: Sorry!
B: No, I'm just joking. I have plenty of time to see them so I'll just 
go catch them another day.
S: Well, I'll keep this short then.
B: Hepcat, who is getting ready to play; they're amazing. Royal Crown 
Revue, they were awesome. You know, every band is good. It might sound 
cliche and political, but honestly, there isn't a band that I don't want 
to watch on this Tour.
S: Beautiful. So, do you like SF?
B: San Francisco? Of COURSE I do, it's a beautiful city. I come from 
Boston which is... by the way [Ben does the universal hand-wiggling 
gesture meaning cities on opposite coasts] sister cities. Many people 
don't know that, but they're very similar. Minus the hills; we have 
some, but not as many. And minus the bridges; we have some, but not as 
grand. They're very similar and a lot of people go back and forth. We 
have a lot of friends in San Francisco.
S: This is very important if you're in San Francisco: have you tried the 
crab yet?
B: Crab?
S: The crab. Have you tried the crab yet in San Francisco?
B: Where?
S: Anywhere. Go down to Pier...
B: No.
S: You have to have the crab, Dungeoness...
B: What kind of crab? Just... [Ben mimes picking up a crab off the 
ground and gnawing it] grab it, pick it up, tear into it?
S: If you choose to, maybe...
B: Well, I'm going out to seafood tonight, but it's Italian style [Ben 
does the universal gesture for tossing pasta]. Where's a good place to 
get crab?
S: Just go along the Pier
Myrna: Pier 39.
S: Pier 39. It's like, all the way hell over there [I does the universal 
gesture for some place that's FAR].
B: But we're at 30, right?
S: Ya, so just keep on going up along the piers.
B: Well, OK, maybe next time.
S: Oh, OK. Well, I don't want you to miss anymore of Pennywise.

And that was it basically. Then, I went over and assaulted...

TIM "JOHNNY VEGAS" BURTON, smooth saxman. My friends tell me he's cute. 
Not that I disagree with them or anything, Ijust thought they'd go more 
for Nate Albert: bleach blonde, boyish charm, etc. Vegas is more mature 
and seductive-like. And I already told you about his voice (he could 
sell me ANYTHING). The ladies love a saxman...

S: Hi, it's me again. I'm with Johnny Vegas of the Mighty Mighty 
Bosstones. So, you guys were just on Letterman. How was that?
T [through cookie]: Um, you know, TV's TV. It was OK. I don't know. 
You'd probably be a better -- excuse me, I have my mouth full of cookie 
right now
S [laughing]: No, it's OK.
T: It was fun to do. Very professional. Paul Schaffer was a fan and the 
rest of the band was really cool.
S: Ya I know, they're always playing "The Impression That I Get" when 
they go out to commercial
T: It was nice of them to really give us some sort of respect. It's 
cool.
S: So, especially this year, the Bosstones have exploded in the media 
everywhere. How do you feel about that?
T: I think it's cool, but as far as I'm concerned, we've been big for a 
while. We're one of the few bands in the country that could go anywhere 
around the country and pack a night club. There's not a lot of bands 
that could do that. And it's because there's a big ska scene, and a lot 
of punk and ska fans that've stood behind us. And it seems like we're 
big now because the "industry" is stepping up and taking notice because 
you sell a few records and you get a song on the radio, but that's not 
necessarily true that that's what makes you big because we've been doing 
great on the live club scene for five, six years now. The industry 
doesn't look at that because they don't make any money off of it.
S: Right, it's all albums.
T: They don't care, they don't care. You see bands on the cover of Spin 
magazine and they couldn't fucking put a hundred people in a night club. 
It's, what, they sell a few records or whatever. So, for me, it's way 
important: we consider ourselves a live band, and it's way more 
important for me that we can play night clubs and have a good time and 
the fans are out there rather than selling a few records or whatever, or 
have a hit on the radio. That's when the industry stands up and takes 
notice because that's when they cash in. But we've been big for a long 
time, you know. Fuck them.
S (with her sparkling wit): Yeah, right on!
T: Really, we've been doing really well for five years and I know a lot 
of bands from Boston, I'm not going to name any names, that I saw on the 
cover of magazines a coupla years ago and they're back washing dishes 
and we're still out on the road.
S: So with Warped Tour are there any bands you're looking forward to 
seeing every day?
T: Well, Hepcat is one of my favorite bands, so I have to put them up 
there. I like 22 Jacks; we've done a tour with them. I get to play a 
song with them when they play on stage. Um, there's really not a dog in 
the lot. I mean, I could go from top to bottom; they're all great bands. 
Some I haven't seen very often. or ever, like Royal Crown [Revue], or 
maybe I saw a long time ago, like the Descendents, or I've seen once or 
twice, like Social Distortion. They're all great bands and the 
organizers of the tour have done a great job.
S: OK, I've always wondered this: did you change your name to Johnny 
Vegas because of the Tim-Burton-the-director thing [note: I know he 
didn't really CHANGE it, and it's just a nickname, but it all came out 
wrong. Oh well. Onward...]
T: I didn't really change my name; that was just a nickname that someone 
tagged me with and it stuck because I played golf and I used to bet on 
horses. But, no one calls me Johnny Vegas; my friends call me Vegas or 
Tim, which is my real name... the Bosstones all have floating nicknames. 
Some of the guys have had three or four nicknames in the last year.
S: What are a coupla of those?
T: One guy went from being Bitch Dog to B.D. to Sweet Pea. We got Joe 
the Kid. We got Joe Sirois, the Ladies' Choice. We got Nate and Natedog. 
Ben has been Benson, Professor Benson, Professor Ben. Dicky has always 
been Dicky. You know, just different nicknames. Dennis, we call him 
D-Man, or D.
S: Okay, well I have to go chase down other Bosstones now.

That got a chuckle out of Tim. Meanwhile, I bummed around Warped, 
getting sunburned, drinking overpriced lemonade. I caught up with Dicky 
after the Pennywise set. DICKY BARRETT. My God. Of anyone, anywhere, he 
intimidated me the most. I just wanted to stand there like a damn fool 
and say "FUCK MAN YOU RULE!" Consequently, I was hysterical the entire 
time and toward the end I completely flaked. It was like I was hit with 
Tourette's Syndrome all of the sudden and I was speaking tongues. And 
there were these awkward silences and I kinda got the feeling he wanted 
to mingle with people he knew rather than talk with me, flunky 
reporter/fan. Well, here's as much of the interview I could salvage... 
the Raphie we talk about is Bosstones Nerd #1, a real friend of the 
Bosstones, and running the fan club (officially named: "Friends of the 
Bosstones." Damn shoulda told Dicky that. Oh well).

S: How's Warped Tour so far? [Myrna offers a cookie, which he refuses at 
first but then takes]
D: Mumble, grumble, mumble [Dicky looks surprised nothing he just said 
came through; it was funny, just thought I'd mention]. I'm sorry.
S: Dicky's eating my cookie right now.
D: Whoa. I wonder what that means. Tour's been great. Thanks for asking.
S: Any bands you look forward to?
D: I just saw Pennywise. I love them. Every day. Every single day I love 
Pennywise. I think, to me, Pennywise is spiritual.
S [nervously chuckling]: Right. [And this is where I was staring to 
flake. It sounded like I was mocking him, but what I was really thinking 
was, "God, but that's how I feel about you and the Bosstones. Man, but I 
can't say that. I'd sound like I'm sucking up to you]
D: Really. I really feel that way. I almost cry sometimes during their 
set, I think it's so awesome.
S: OK, lessee... oh, the next single: the Rascal King.
D: Right.
S: Talk a little bit about that.
D: Well, the single's not really something I deal with. We make full 
albums, and I'd hate to be the guy that pulls them apart and says that 
this one's better than the other. Somebody else decides and the radio 
plays it, so I don't really get involved with that.
S: I was talking more about what the song's about.
D: The song was about James Michael Curley [?], Irish mayor long time 
ago in Boston. And if you grew up Irish Catholic in Boston which I did, 
and I think I'm the only one in the Bosstones that did, you see a 
picture of him wherever you go. He was great for the Irish, great for 
the city of Boston, but he also had a lot of problems, too. But, I don't 
know. Childhood hero of mine, I guess.
S [who flakes royally]: I've been talking with other people and they're 
wondering what you're gonna do with the other songs that were never 
recorded like "Pirate Ship" and the other 13 [Guh! I MEANT to say 
released, damndamndamn].
D [correcting me]: Were never released. Pirate Ship was on a Japanese 
release, I think. I don't know, I think we're gonna put it together in a 
package. We got quite a few songs that we...
S: So they will be released eventually?
D: I hope so; I think they should. Who are we to say that this song 
should be released, this song shouldn't. Release them and let people 
decide. I don't want to be the guy who says this one is better than that 
one.
S: OK, so I was talking to a girl named Amirah and she was talking about 
how you're composing a tatoo poster or something?
D: Ya, but it's a very slow process, collecting tatoos of bulldogs or 
Bosstones tatoos that people have. That's about it. But, it's a very 
ugly poster so far.
S: Oh, I'm sure it's great.
D: Na, it's all flesh and ink.
S: So, it's the third time you're hitting San Francisco this year. Do 
you like playing San Francisco.
D: I love San Francisco. I love this city; this is a great day. This is 
really nice. This is Boston-style summer weather we got going on right 
here, so I'm very comfortable here.
S: So, I guess the question on every San Franciscans' mind is: have you 
tried to crab yet?
D: No, nononono, I can't. I can't do that.
S: Oh really? Allergic?
D: No, contractually, I can only eat New England lobsters. If I'm gonna 
eat a shellfish, I gotta wait till I get home and eat them. I've 
actually had some Maryland crab, but, um, don't tell anyone.
S: I'm sure I won't tell anybody [oops]. Um... I'm so nervous... um... 
the Clash tribute album! Ya!
D: I don't know what the hell is going on with that! It's in some sort 
of delay or something.
S: So you guys did "Rudie Can't Fail," right?
D: We did record it and it sounds great and John Doe from X produced it, 
but the record is just being held off. I'm not sure.
S [getting flakier by the moment]: I don't know. Um...
D: Those two look great together, don't they?
S: Which one? Oh! Ya, they're matching. [It was a guy and a girl talking 
to each other. Each had on a black jacket and fire-engine-red bottom of 
some sort].
D: I think I'll go tell them. [Is that a signal or what?]
S: You think they planned that or...
D: No, they don't go out. I know his girlfriend. That's Max from 
Swingin' Utters.
S: Oh yeah, yeah I saw them at you guys' show at the Fillmore.
D: Commenting on the fashion, as I like to do... [some chick walks by] 
she looks lovely.
S [flaking]: Um... God, I'm so nervous. I've never done this kind of 
thing before, so...
D: You're doing a good job, though, don't worry.
S: Thank you, thank you, um... well, for the first newsletter, do you 
have any messages of love for the fans?
D: Send all my love, and I really rather we didn't call them fans. 
Friends and family, is what I prefer.
S: Ya, Raphie's been having trouble with that. She loathes to call it a 
"fan club" but there's nothing else to call it.
D: Family club.
S: Family club?
D: The Bosstones family club. Tell Raphie we want to rename it. The 
Mighty Mighty Bosstones family club.

And if I were to continue that torture any longer, I'd probably start 
crying right there, so I ended it swiftly. I started walking back, 
thinking, "I need to talk to Joe Gittleman." Lo and behold, there he was 
walking in my direction. JOE GITTLEMAN, the bass fiddleman, Bosstone I 
had a crush on at some point after my Nate phase (ahh... it's SO good to 
be out of puberty), AND owner of an ultra-rad leather jacket. All-around 
cool guy. This interview is kinda short because it looked like Joe 
needed to get somewhere, and far be it from me to get in his way...

S: So, Stacy with Joe Gittleman. Have a cookie. Raphie says "Hi", by the 
way.
J [through cookie]: Oh. [an upbeat oh. An oh of recognition]
S: Nate's tour journals mentioned that you were producing a benefit 
album?
J: Just a song. A Bosstones song. It's the Surfriders' Foundation. We 
did a collaboration with the Pietasters.
S: Oh! Oh, love them. [And I really do! Do yourself a favor: get your 
ass to a Pietasters show] So how has the tour been for you?
J: Great. Fantastic. Not enough chocolate chip cookies, though.
S: Want another one? [Joe grabs another one]
J: You know, Raphie's mom makes some really good cookies.
S: Oh, speaking of Raphie, I'm sorta from the Bosstones fan club as 
well, so is there anything, you know, message of love for the first 
newsletter?
J: We love you!
S: Um, thank you, Joe.
J [laughing]: Ya, I guess.

And then my groupie-self took over, I delayed Joe EVEN MORE while I dug 
around for my cd and a pen. I met up with Dicky later to sign my CD, and 
cool, he asked for another cookie. I told him to take it all and he did 
(FINALLY. I brought all these cookies and none of the Tones would take 
it all). Never got to see Dennis (goshdarnit), but I did see Joe Sirois 
talking with some other guy. Well, at least I thought it was Joe. I 
spent a good three minutes standing five feet behind him asking Myrna, 
"Is that Joe? Do you think that's Joe? The drummer, Joe Sirois." Finally 
went up to him...

S: Hi, sorry, I don't want to sound like an idiot, but are you Joe?
J: Yeah!
S: Oh cool! Can you sign my cd [I didn't have my recorder anymore at 
this point. Darn.] Go back to the bus, there are some cookies there.
J: Oh those are yours?

Isn't THAT cool? Sigh, what a day. =)

Another huge helping of thanks, love, warm fuzzy feelings to the 
Bosstones being as damn fucking nice as people say they are, and for 
continuing to rock my world at every show.
Apologies to Jen and everyone else who must rummage through all my 
rambling emails to find something publishable for the Warped Tour site. 
Sorry!
Thanks to Mike. Are you at all related to Conrad Seto? You remind me of 
him.
Thanks to the Warped Tour for an opportunity to meet my One True Love in 
Life (even if I flaked).
Apologies to my friends who weren't expecting a 20k file in their 
mailbox (you asked for every detail, you got it!)

Christ, this thing took me forever to transcribe,
Stacy
Go here and go to warped report see what the warped people did to it
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